I’ve spent a lot of time on trains over the last year or so and I’ve decided to compile a list 5 annoying things that people do on trains in the UK.
FOOTBALL HOOLIGANS BEING DICKS
I love football, but some fans are massive jeb-ends. I once had a bunch of Crewe fans try and deliberately pour red stripe all over my laptop and then they proceeded to intimidate an old man. There was about 10 of them so it was obviously a fair fight.
PEOPLE WHO SIT IN THE QUIET ZONE AND DON’T SHUT THE FUCK UP
Seriously, can these idiots not read or are they just twats? I was once sat in the quiet zone and I had to listen to some fat bloke shouting about how awesome his wireless dongle was. All of the other passengers were looking at one another with a knowing glance that said “we collectively think this guy is a moron.”
PEOPLE WHO TAKE UP AN ENTIRE TABLE
How much of a selfish idiot do you have to be to take up an entire 4-seater table when you have no use for it? No teenage girl, you don’t need an entire table in order to check Facebook on your iPhone. Sit somewhere else so I can do some work you pleb.
PEOPLE WHO BLAST TUNES OUT OF THEIR SHITTY PHONE SPEAKERS
Seriously, why are you doing this? Even the best phones have speakers that make any music sound like its being played through a can of beans. Buy some headphones or read a book you tard.
PEOPLE WHO TRY TO RUGBY TACKLE THEIR WAY ONTO THE TRAIN
Everybody knows that you let people get off the train before you try to get on it. But there’s always one guy who thinks that he should just take a flying leap and spear everybody out of the way, probably so that he can take up an entire table. You’re a blight on the rail system and I wish you would do this before the train arrives, thus landing on the rails and sparing us all your lack of common courtesy.