Go To Hell Dave’s Monthly Round up

Hi guys,

Alex here I’ve been busy as always at Falchion games, currently I’ve been getting in touch with the local press and gamer related websites.

Me and ben


Stafford “The Sentinel” did a piece on us, It’s nice to see local journalists take an interest in what we do. This was a picture taken in our office.


I got a new article posted by the lovely guys at Developer’s Accomplice
If you like opinions, indie game reviews and Gamer related news I’d suggest you get your cursor over there now . Once again Ben was as blunt as ever and gave very amusing interview.



I’ve been following this game for a while. “GoD Factory: Wingmen” Really Hope they make the mark, I think there is a wealth of space to explore in the space combat genre and I hope Nine Dots Studios Will do just that, So check it out.



On Sunday me and Ben are attended Rezzed (A pc gaming event in Birmingham similar and sponsored by EuroGamer), we did hope to get our own exhibition booth but that will have to wait until next year. Whilst there we did have a nice chat to the team from Invision Game Community.



In other developments we now have everything sorted website and email base, thanks to the amazing guys at monkey tree hosting. I don’t normal brag about tech stuff but these guys are awesome and couldn’t do enough to help a HTML noob like me.


We don’t just build games at falchion Games will also share the knowledge so last Monday 10th I was off to Sheffield to help with games Britannia, I taught a workshop teaching kids how to think outside of the box in regards to puzzle games and how to really create your own theme for an adventure game. It was a huge honour to help out and was a great experience to have a casual chat with Gary Carr Creative Director at lion Head studios and Creator of Theme Hospital.



Speaking of fun addictive cartoony games I’m still in love with the art style being crafted by the guys and monster and monster. Check out there games for Ios and Android they are free and massivey addictive

Anyway I’ll leave you be hopefully I’ll have more to report after Rezzed

Alex Byrom: Creative Director

From the office of Falchion Games: Go To Hell Dave
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Why Game’s like Duke Nukem Forever are dangerous

Duke Nukem Forever Wallpaper HQ free xbox360 ps3 pc (5)

Now, I really hate to bag and abuse someone else’s work because as a developer myself I know how much work goes into creating a game. This Article is for when you are having an argument with anyone about Duke Nukem Forever and they use any of these phrases “It’s not so bad”, “Well it was never going to live up to the hype was it?” “It’s an ok game” “I had fun playing it”

With companies producing average to poor games, it just lowers the bar of what makes an acceptable game. Less quantity more quality so below you will see my breakdown of DNF and why it is a terrible game, This is from both a developers point of view (I worked in UDK for 3 years) and a gamers point of view, I’ve played games for as long as I can remember from the Atari to the DS.

1) Enemies: very few variation throughout the game, possibly 5 different models at the most

2) level design: it’s never clear on any level what you are suppose to be doing, where you are going or why you are going in this general direction I’m not talking about hand holding, I like to know what my objective is.

3) Humour: The humour is just dated seems like the target audience is for 5 years olds

4)Hype: I don’t give a shit about the “hype” I played it as a stand alone game and will judge it on it’s own merit.

5) Physics: A lot of the physic puzzles really don’t make sense for instance there is one where you have to load up the barrels onto the crane, there isn’t any real reason why I’m doing this. The only reason you would do it is if you knew that it was going to trigger the next series of events.

6) game triggers: A lot of these are miss placed and only really work if you are stood directly on top of them, before that part ^ it’s not clear that you need to walk into the wall for it to explode and enemies come out? Why would that be clear that doesn’t make any logical sense.

7) The graphics: yeah graphics don’t make a good game, but considering it was from the developers of borderlands you would expect ps3 graphics not late ps2, in addition to this alot of the time you could sit behind a wall and watch the character animations get stuck as they try and leap at you

8) The difficulty: I love difficult games, catherine, MGS2 on european extreme, ikaruga, The orignal Prince of Persia. But DNF difficult is just unfair, there is a part where you climb stairs as barrels fly towards you, there is no sequence to the barrels it’s random chance if you get hit or not

9) More level Design: Far too many linear corridors or backtracking through the same levels or even reusing the same levels which no real explanation.

10) Mechanics:  Every mechanic feels horse shoed into the game, the rc bit, the driving section, the tiny section, the walking through grates section there is no flow to gameplay at all.

11) Loading Times: THE LOADING TIMES, yeah most games have loading times, but when compared to borderlands why are the respawns so slow? it takes 2 seconds to respawn in UDK.

12) Game-play length: Length it should be a short game and I forced myself to play through it for 13 pain staking hours. The whole game is filler. Walk through one corridor kill waves of enemies and repeat. There is no sense of achievement or progression.

TLDR it’s badly made from start to finish. Please don’t waste your time or money on this game I wrote this to save people the effort.

13 hours of my life I will never get back. The best thing about this game is in the extras you can see a time line of the development, the game they had in 1993 That’s the game I want to play.


Most Disappointing Games of All Time – Final Fantasy XIII

I actually had a little deal going on with my local independent video game store back when this abomination came out. They’d clandestinely sell me games several days before release, when they came into stock. In return, I remained a loyal customer and kept my mouth shut about the technically illegal activities going on there. I paid a little extra for this privilege of course, because I wanted them as early as possible. This was the game that taught me the value of patience.

Final Fantasy XIII is an insult to every kid who cut his teeth playing Final Fantasy. To all of us who were inspired to write stories, make games, compose music or roll dice by any JRPG ever, this game is nothing more than a slap in the face with Square Enix’s ageing, hairy ball sack.

FF XIII is composed of an incredibly stupid opening cut-scene, in which we are introduced to a man with a bird in his afro (which is never fucking explained), followed by a 40-hour-long hallway. I mean, there is literally nothing in this game, which you would recognize as the positive defining features of a JRPG. There are no random battles, no vendors or shops, no opportunities to explore or roam the map (at least not until about 20 hours into it), no side-quests, no mini-games, no explanation as to why a man keeps a tiny bird in his afro, NO FUCKING SOUL! Whether you’re a fan of the genre or not, you have to accept that these are the mechanics which the fans enjoy. Why would any sane developer cut this stuff out?

What’s that I hear you crying? If the game is insanely linear and devoid of any freedom or distractions then surely, the combat and boss battles must be awesome and engaging? I mean, they weren’t random like in every other GOOD JRPG. They’re planned out and placed along the corridor of boredom, so they must be good right?

Well….no. Not only are they boring x-mashing fests of pointlessness, but there is also a button which allows the game to select the best move for you.


Those of you who are the music buffs of the gaming world may be wondering if the game was saved by the almost universally flawless compositions of famed Square Enix composer, Nobuo Uematsu. Well, the answer is no because he didn’t work on any of the pieces in the game.

What a load of bollocks.